Tuesday, July 22, 2008

To Completion

"In a certain way I try to share with my readers my inner quest, that's basically my spiritual quest."

Paulo Coelho

screenshot thanks to keevo

Well, I guess the vacation worked. On July 22, 2008, tWWL finally stopped fighting what felt oh so natural and featured one of my comments. When I found out, I rejoiced, laughed, cried, partied, came... It was a 15 minute period that none of my co-workers will soon forget.

Now what? What does one do when he has killed his White Wale? What I imagined would take years took forty-two attempts. It's the same experience I had with The Legend of Zelda. The only thing this quest has done for me is made me about a hundred times more bland...Perhaps I'm qualified for work at tWWL? Does CBS need a new Clark Judge? Is there demand for a white(er) Bryant Gumbel? I don't know.

"It would have been great to see the Shark win, but two in a row for harrington is pretty cool."

You have no idea how depressing it is to know that the above sentence is the most widely read piece of material I have ever written.

I need to find something to do.


Check back in the next few days as I figure out what to do with this site, and my life.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Day Forty-Two

I hope that vacation causes tWWL to lower their guard.

Today is Day Forty-Two

RE: Injury provided distraction to let Harrington focus on winning second Open

"It would have been great to see the Shark win, but two in a row for harrington is pretty cool."


Wednesday, July 16, 2008


I'm taking this week off. I'll be back at it, hopefully better than ever, starting monday

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Day Forty-One

Today is Day Forty-One

RE: Brewers' Sheets, Indians' Lee to start All-Star Game

"Sheets is the better pitcher, but Lee should get more run support. 9-6 A.L."


Friday, July 11, 2008

Day Forty

Today is Day Forty

RE: Minnesota Twin at Detroit Tigers

"I don't care if it only his second blown save, Todd Jones shouldn't be a major league pitcher."


Thursday, July 10, 2008

Day Thirty-Nine

Today is Day Thirty-Nine

RE: Michigan to pay $2.5m, Rodriguez $1.5m to satisfy WVU buyout

"An extra $4 mil for a guy who was outcoached by Dave Wannstedt? I bet Michigan wishes they never would have hired him."


Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Day Thirty-Eight

Today is Day Thirty-Eight

RE: In Clipper country, Brand's departure is business as usual

"replacing an all-star is always tough, but a big man of Brand's caliber? yikes"


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Day Thirty-Seven

Today is Day Thirty-Seven

RE: Beasley takes Round 1 with fellow top draft pick Rose

"Get ready to see Beasley owning Rose all year"


Monday, July 7, 2008

Day Thirty-Six

Today is Day Thirty-Six

RE: Varitek? Tejada? All-Star Game rosters somewhat of a mess

"What? How does Reyes get snubbed? He is the man!"


Thursday, July 3, 2008

Day Thirty-Five

Today is Day Thirty-Five

RE: Source: Favre has 'itch' to return; player calls it 'rumor'

"It would be great to see Farve in a Packers uniform one last tiem."


Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Day Thirty-Four

Today is Day Thirty-Four

RE: A-Rod passing on Home Run Derby

"Not competing in the home run derby in your home stadium? Not cool."


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Day Thirty-Three

Today is Day Thirty-Three

RE: Warriors' Davis opts out of deal; Clippers to pursue?

"Davis and Brand will be a great 1-2 punch."


Monday, June 30, 2008

Day Thirty-Two

Today is Day Thirty-Two
(Back from vacation)

RE: Phelps, Hoff set world records in 400 IM at Olympic trials

"Phelps should be good for at least two more golds this year...Should be an Olympics to watch"


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Day Thirty-One

Today is Day Thirty-One

RE: From underdogs to wonderdogs, Fresno State blazes new trail though CWS

"This was a very entertaining CWS, capped by a great underdog win."


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Day Thirty

Today is Day Thirty

RE: Sources say Heat looking to trade out of No. 2, take guard later

"The heat need to stay where they are and grab a franchise player for when Wade gets injured 20 games in."


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Day Twenty-Nine

Today is Day Twenty-Nine

RE: U.S. men's team announced, with high hopes of regaining gold

"If the U.S. team doesn't take home the gold there will be no excuses. Period."


Monday, June 23, 2008

Day Twenty-Eight

Today is Day Twenty-Eight
(Last day of segrin24 for a while)

RE: Cubs 7, White Sox 1

"I guess the Cubs showed who the kings off chicago are"


Thursday, June 19, 2008

Day Twenty-Seven

Today is Day Twenty-Seven

RE: Players who show their value all over the diamond

"Brandon Inge should b e number one, since he's the best team player on the best team. Go Tigers!!!"


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Day Twenty-Six

Today is Day Twenty-Six

RE: Bulls work out Beasley, Rose next, as No. 1 pick looms



Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Day Twenty-Five

Today is Day Twenty-Five

RE: Mets fire Randolph, Peterson, Nieto also dismissed

"Bad timing...They shouldve waited until after the all-star break"


Monday, June 16, 2008

Day Twenty-Four

Today is Day Twenty-Four

RE: US Open title will be decided by Tiger's mind vs. his knee

"Yesterday's putt was one for the ages... Should be a great playoff"


Friday, June 13, 2008

Day Twenty-Three

Today is Day Twenty-Three

RE: Boston Celtics at Los Angeles Lakers

"What a comeback! Series over."


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Day Twenty-Two

Today is Day Twenty-Two

RE: Delaney: NBA, feds have not contacted me about claim

"Delaney's credibility looks pretty bad when you take into account the fact that he ref'd game 2 of these finals, where Boston had a 38 to 10 free throw advantage."


Strong Point: None. Shit.

Weak Point: Too controversial, coherent

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Day Twenty-One

Today is Day Twenty-One

RE: Daily Dime: Bryant's big night evens series

"L.A. didn't win this game, Boston lost it."


Strong Point: Makes no sense

Weak Point: No mention of who the man is

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Day Twenty

Today is Day Twenty

RE: Griffey simply breathtaking in his prime

"Had Griffey been healthy who knows what he would have done. Congrats on 600!"


Strong Point: General and unoffensive

Weak Point: All spelled properly, no trash talk

Monday, June 9, 2008

Day Nineteen

Today is Day 19

RE: Nadal's fire and emotion propel him to fourth French Open title

"Raf played awesome today! I can't see Roger beating him any time soon on Clay. I can definately see Nadal beating Roger on grass this year."


Friday, June 6, 2008

Day Eighteen

Today is Day Eighteen

RE: Mcfadden agrees to six-year, $60 million deal with Raiders

"This is way too much to give a rookie rb...but I think the raiders wanted to avoid a holdout after th Jamarcus Russel situation. Get this kid on the field as soon as possible!!!"


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Day Seventeen

Today is Day Seventeen
(Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the quest)

RE: Daily Dime: Winning selections take purple hue

"its time for kobe to prove he has alway been the man in la. Lakers in five1!!"


This guy's comment on the same article destroys me, however:

"All I can say is KG its Your Time KID!

Go Destroy them Lakers for there is no one on their Team that Can Stop The Big Ticket!!!!!


4-3 Celtics or 4-2 Cetics"

This gem was brought to us by Flyestgod.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Day Sixteen

Today is Day Sixteen
(In which the quest blogger actually writes a comment he believes to be true)

RE: Chamberlain frustrated with debut

"Most starting pitchers I know last longer than two innings"


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Day Fifteen

Sorry about the tardiness. Called in sick and slept in today.

Today is Day Fifteen

RE: No matter how this series ends, we'll remember Pens' determination

"this win sets the stage...It will be a finals to remember"


Monday, June 2, 2008

Day Fourteen

Today is Day Fourteen

RE: Conn Smythe Watch: Who's leading the MVP race

"Zetterberg is clearly playing the best, but Osgood will win the MVP"


Friday, May 30, 2008

Day Thirteen

Today is Day 13

RE: Bulls poised to hire Collins as coach

"If he couldn't win with Jordan, there is no chance of him winning with Gordon"


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Breaking News Update

I don't usually do this, but something has blown my mind. What, you ask, is this something? The current featured comment. I don't want to steal deadspin's thunder here, but this is what it currently reads: "Your dad and I knew you were a special athlete many years ago watching you at the batting cages." This pertains to an article about Florida going to the college world series, and is directed to a certain player on their team. Is this what it has come to? Does espn really think this guy knows what he is talking about? If he was that close to the kid's father, couldn't he have found a better way to deliver this message than through espn Conversation (beta)? And, most importantly, am I going to have to start pretending I know the people they are writing these stories about? I can already see tomorrow's attempt-"The Kobe Bryant I knew in high school wouldn't cheat on his wife twice" or "I should call Rip and see how is elbow is doing". Any formula I thought I had for this quest has clearly gone out the window. Is my sanity soon to follow? Only time will tell.

Day Twelve

Today is Day Twelve

RE: Daily Dime: Perkins, Allen give Celtics 3-2 series lead

"Looks like it was a rough night for the city of detroit"


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Day Eleven

Today is Day Eleven

RE: Report: Pacman meets with Goodell on returning to NFL

"Pacman has served his suspension and deserves another chance-His last chance!"


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Day Ten

Hope everyone had a nice, relaxing weekend. Back to the grind.

Today is Day Ten

RE: Daily Dime: Pistons even the score

"Mcdyess is playing like this is his last chance to win a title...And it just might be"


Friday, May 23, 2008

Day Nine

Today is Day Nine

RE: Mayo's mother confirms O.J. is looking for new representation

"The Nba needs to find a way to punish player's for breaking rules in college"


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Day Eight

This is harder than I thought. Whenever I come up with a comment I think has a chance, espn chooses something not even in the same area code as my statement. I thought I had a system, (but then again so did John Candy in "Once Upon a Crime") but now it seems there is no rhyme or reason to what the worldwide leader is choosing. How long until I go crazy and start trying things like "How come there are no cashew M & M's?" Only time will tell, friends. Only time will tell.

Today is Day Eight

RE: Spurs feel pain of losing 20 point lead, golden opportunity

"I guess even 20 points isn't a big enough cushion when you are playing Kobe. lakers in five!!1"


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Day Seven

Today is Day Seven.

RE: Why I'm Spurning the Spurs

"The Spurs need a big series from Parker to get past LA"


Monday, May 19, 2008

Day Six

Hmm, little bit of pressure today.

Today is Day 6

RE: Shooting Pains Doom Hornets in Game 7

"The Spurs dynasty shall live on...unless Kobe and the Lakers can step up!!"


Day Five

Today is Day Five

RE: Penguins turnaround complete with trip to Cup finals

"I think the Penguins have a good chance to win the Cup."


Saturday, May 17, 2008

Day Four: Weekend Hangover Edition

Last night was rough. I feel pretty worthless.

Today is Day Four.

RE: Donaghy bet on more than 100 games he worked

"I hope Donaghy receives a sentence which appropriately punishes him"


Friday, May 16, 2008

Day Three

ESPN is onto me. I can feel it. Why else would they go so crazy with the featured comments yesterday? Mentions of specific plays, fantasy baseball advice, these are not the type of featured comments I have come to know and love. No matter, there will be a return to true form today, I can feel it. Also, thanks to some advice in the comments, I have a couple of new weapons at my disposal: The Sentence Fragment and The Misspelled Your/You're. These have now become part of my ever-growing arsenal.

Today is day three.

RE: Is Philly's win promise of a series or delay of inevitable

"Philadelphia showed a lot of heart out there, and won't be giving up soon"


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Day Two

Today is day two.

RE: Kobe becomes supporting cast mate for game 5 escape

"The Lakers showed last night why they are the best in the West"



Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Day One: Call Me Ishmael/The Explanation

Hello everyone. Let me preface this post by saying that this is not a sports blog. Not in any way. The primary objective of this blog is closely tied to the sports world, but you will find absolutely no opinions or relevant sports information here. This blog is about a goal. A glorious goal. A seemingly impossible goal. This blog is about me trying each and every day, once per day, to become the author of one of ESPN.com's "featured comments".

If you didn't know this already, quite some time ago ESPN.com made it possible for readers to to comment on their articles (Even Bill Simmons! Oh, wait, nevermind), blog-style. Shortly thereafter, they started posting a "featured comment", a comment on the front page of the website by some random commenter. Shortly after this, deadspin.com noticed the blandness of the featured comments and started posting one per day on their front page. (Most Recent: "The Wings seemed to toy with Dallas and then ... dominate in the last period. Bring on Pitt." ) Really racy stuff, huh?

After reading enough of these comments to find Rita Rudner offensive, I think I've got their system figured out. Find one of the top three stories, get there early, and either make the most general comment possible agreeing with the article, or throw in some kind of G-rated smack talk. (I.E. : "Bring on Pitt")

It is time to start the quest. I've been walking around work all day saying stuff like "The Pistons certainly showed the Magic who the best team was" and "Looks like it's finally catching up to Bonds". I have never been more ready.

Today Is Day One
(First Attempt Below)

RE: Daily Dime: Hornets one win from advancing

"Looks like the Spurs are down and out"

Look for the username Segrin24, coming to the ESPN.com featured comment soon!