Friday, May 30, 2008

Day Thirteen

Today is Day 13

RE: Bulls poised to hire Collins as coach

"If he couldn't win with Jordan, there is no chance of him winning with Gordon"


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Breaking News Update

I don't usually do this, but something has blown my mind. What, you ask, is this something? The current featured comment. I don't want to steal deadspin's thunder here, but this is what it currently reads: "Your dad and I knew you were a special athlete many years ago watching you at the batting cages." This pertains to an article about Florida going to the college world series, and is directed to a certain player on their team. Is this what it has come to? Does espn really think this guy knows what he is talking about? If he was that close to the kid's father, couldn't he have found a better way to deliver this message than through espn Conversation (beta)? And, most importantly, am I going to have to start pretending I know the people they are writing these stories about? I can already see tomorrow's attempt-"The Kobe Bryant I knew in high school wouldn't cheat on his wife twice" or "I should call Rip and see how is elbow is doing". Any formula I thought I had for this quest has clearly gone out the window. Is my sanity soon to follow? Only time will tell.

Day Twelve

Today is Day Twelve

RE: Daily Dime: Perkins, Allen give Celtics 3-2 series lead

"Looks like it was a rough night for the city of detroit"


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Day Eleven

Today is Day Eleven

RE: Report: Pacman meets with Goodell on returning to NFL

"Pacman has served his suspension and deserves another chance-His last chance!"


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Day Ten

Hope everyone had a nice, relaxing weekend. Back to the grind.

Today is Day Ten

RE: Daily Dime: Pistons even the score

"Mcdyess is playing like this is his last chance to win a title...And it just might be"


Friday, May 23, 2008

Day Nine

Today is Day Nine

RE: Mayo's mother confirms O.J. is looking for new representation

"The Nba needs to find a way to punish player's for breaking rules in college"


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Day Eight

This is harder than I thought. Whenever I come up with a comment I think has a chance, espn chooses something not even in the same area code as my statement. I thought I had a system, (but then again so did John Candy in "Once Upon a Crime") but now it seems there is no rhyme or reason to what the worldwide leader is choosing. How long until I go crazy and start trying things like "How come there are no cashew M & M's?" Only time will tell, friends. Only time will tell.

Today is Day Eight

RE: Spurs feel pain of losing 20 point lead, golden opportunity

"I guess even 20 points isn't a big enough cushion when you are playing Kobe. lakers in five!!1"


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Day Seven

Today is Day Seven.

RE: Why I'm Spurning the Spurs

"The Spurs need a big series from Parker to get past LA"


Monday, May 19, 2008

Day Six

Hmm, little bit of pressure today.

Today is Day 6

RE: Shooting Pains Doom Hornets in Game 7

"The Spurs dynasty shall live on...unless Kobe and the Lakers can step up!!"


Day Five

Today is Day Five

RE: Penguins turnaround complete with trip to Cup finals

"I think the Penguins have a good chance to win the Cup."


Saturday, May 17, 2008

Day Four: Weekend Hangover Edition

Last night was rough. I feel pretty worthless.

Today is Day Four.

RE: Donaghy bet on more than 100 games he worked

"I hope Donaghy receives a sentence which appropriately punishes him"


Friday, May 16, 2008

Day Three

ESPN is onto me. I can feel it. Why else would they go so crazy with the featured comments yesterday? Mentions of specific plays, fantasy baseball advice, these are not the type of featured comments I have come to know and love. No matter, there will be a return to true form today, I can feel it. Also, thanks to some advice in the comments, I have a couple of new weapons at my disposal: The Sentence Fragment and The Misspelled Your/You're. These have now become part of my ever-growing arsenal.

Today is day three.

RE: Is Philly's win promise of a series or delay of inevitable

"Philadelphia showed a lot of heart out there, and won't be giving up soon"


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Day Two

Today is day two.

RE: Kobe becomes supporting cast mate for game 5 escape

"The Lakers showed last night why they are the best in the West"



Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Day One: Call Me Ishmael/The Explanation

Hello everyone. Let me preface this post by saying that this is not a sports blog. Not in any way. The primary objective of this blog is closely tied to the sports world, but you will find absolutely no opinions or relevant sports information here. This blog is about a goal. A glorious goal. A seemingly impossible goal. This blog is about me trying each and every day, once per day, to become the author of one of's "featured comments".

If you didn't know this already, quite some time ago made it possible for readers to to comment on their articles (Even Bill Simmons! Oh, wait, nevermind), blog-style. Shortly thereafter, they started posting a "featured comment", a comment on the front page of the website by some random commenter. Shortly after this, noticed the blandness of the featured comments and started posting one per day on their front page. (Most Recent: "The Wings seemed to toy with Dallas and then ... dominate in the last period. Bring on Pitt." ) Really racy stuff, huh?

After reading enough of these comments to find Rita Rudner offensive, I think I've got their system figured out. Find one of the top three stories, get there early, and either make the most general comment possible agreeing with the article, or throw in some kind of G-rated smack talk. (I.E. : "Bring on Pitt")

It is time to start the quest. I've been walking around work all day saying stuff like "The Pistons certainly showed the Magic who the best team was" and "Looks like it's finally catching up to Bonds". I have never been more ready.

Today Is Day One
(First Attempt Below)

RE: Daily Dime: Hornets one win from advancing

"Looks like the Spurs are down and out"

Look for the username Segrin24, coming to the featured comment soon!